So, I really wish I could just not want a relationship.  I sorta went to prom with Caitlin.  We didnt actually go as a couple or anything, it was more of me going with my freinds; me, matt, sprinkles (those guys are preety much my roomates, almost like brothers), alex (sprinkle's girl freind), and Caitlin all at dinner at Caitlin's house before prom.  Then I rode to prom with Caitlin and Matt (they wernt a couple).  As soon as we got there I found my freinds (what I consider now to be my family there) I.E. Sprinkles, Sam, Courtney, Lindsey and some other folks.  Then Caitlin dragged me onto the dance floor.  We wound up dancing for like 30 minutes, then a slow song came on, I started to walk off to the tables and chairs when Caitlin grabbed my arm and we started slow dancing.  We procedded to dance together the rest of the night.  Right before I left I went to say goodbye to Caitlin once more, saw her dancing with Brian.  I started to get angry (not at her, at myself for thinking that the night meant anything) and just preety much had a shitty night from there on.  I called her the next morning, trying to see if she had found the camera I had lost that night, but we wound up talking for like an hour, she said she was only dancing with Brian because he wouldn't leave her alone.

Yes Aly, I was talking about you

Tonite was a great nite, got to get back to fencing practice, got to do nothing all night, and got to talk to a Really Good freind from Greensboro who I hadn't talked to in forever (can't wait for her to visit), and to cap it all off I have no classes tomarrow!  Well, sleep time now.

Heres the story since thursday,

I had a very strange dream last night.  To protect the innocent I won't mention it here, If you wanna know IM me and I might tell you.  I always get so nervous around Caitlin, I'm never really sure what to do, She said she wanted to take it slow, but I didnt think she meant this slow.  For the love of God the last time we held hands was before we were even "dating".  God, and now I wont see her for 3 days.  I'm gonna call her tonite but her grandparents are in town so I dunno if I'll get to talk to her long, if I will at all.

Human relationships are such an odd thing.  How it can go from one day loving being together to hating each other another. (No, this isnt whats happening with me and Caitlin).  I never get to see her tho, since she doesnt live on campus she goes home every day as soon as her classes are over (her parents drive her cause she's a wreck aiting to happen behind the wheel.)  I always feel so awkward when Im around her too, I just don't know what to do.  Tomarrow is an Arts Wednesday (no academic classes) so I dont really have anything I have to do tonite, I wanted to call Caitlin but of course, she didnt answer the 2 times I did call and she turned it of by the 3rd time.  She's so beautiful... I'm gonna wake up early tomarrow and try to call her before she has class, but she will probably not answer.  God if she lived on campus.... That would be fun... ^_^

Well, I aksed Caitlin out on Wednesday, it was no where close to how romantic I wanted it to be.  She said yes but she wants to take it slow, which is fine with me.  She has so many classes that I barely get to see her, but when I do I'm so happy, she is so beautiful...  We'll, I've gotta head off to French class, Wish me luck with the fencing tournament in atlanta!

I miss school

I can't wait for it to start again. Even tho I'll have classes and homework again, it'll be good to see everyone again.  I feel really depressed for some reason, no clue why though, meh. After a nite's sleep I'll be fine.  Caitlin and I have been writing letters to each other over the summer, most people I've told that too said that was sweet, but all the signatures in her yearbook had an address with them, and she doesn't use her computer that often, so that is most likley how she talks to people over the summer.  So far she's sent me 2 letters and a post card, I've sent her 3 or 4 and a postcard, I don't think I'll have any classes with her this year :(  There's been alot fo times recently when I could be like a normal teenager, have a car, get wasted on the weekends, that sort of things, whatever, as soon as I get back to NCSA that will go away.  Well I should go to sleep...

Just to catch up on the fencing side of my life, We had a workshop this past weekend, 2 days of really tiring drills and other sorts of practice and then a day of team competition.  My saber team took second while my epee team took 1st (after I made a comeback, see note at bottom).  Also at practice tonite we had 2 fencers fencing at a time (in Epee), winner stayed and took on a new challenger, after I won 2 bouts in a row my saber coach had me fence the Epee coach (I said to him "Okay, now is when I lose..." he repiles "Yeah, that's the general idea", he meant no offense to me, we were running out of time and there were still people yet to fence.)  Suprisingly though I had my Epee coach tied 4-4 after about 3 minutes, (in this situation the 1st person the get the next touch will win; a normal bout is fenced to 5 touches.) I lost but having come 1 touch away from beating my coach after winning 2 straight bouts was good enuff for me :)





NOTE: Ok so a fencing team competition works like this 2 people get on the strip (fencing area) and fence to 5 touches, then when 1 team gets to 5 both fencers switch out with someone else on their team and they fence to 10 while starting with the scores at the end of the previous bout. Example: Team 1 has fencers A and B.  Team 2 has fencers C and D.  Fencer A fences Fencer C, the bout ending with the score A:5 C:3.  Now Fencer B fences fencer D starting with the scores B:5 D:3, this time they fence to 10. 

The week that came after my last post was odd.  It was the last week of school, so lots of studing for exams and lots of packing to head back home.  Because I'm a sophmore I was there till Friday, (most people left by wednesday)  But anyway it was a good thing that I was there that long.  Residence Life threw a bon-fire party-thingi on Thursday nite.  One of the drama kids brought out his cd player and a cd of the band Travis (good music), that night was the refining moment of NCSA for me, it was so crazy because I was sitting there out side at like 11 at nite toasting marshmallows and making s'mores with the remaining 30 or so kids and I realized, I was at school.  That night kinda made me realize how much of a community we are, we are all artists and we all stick together.  After makin sum s'mores I talked with Kerri for like an hour then went inside to spend my last nite in my dorm room.  I'm really glad I found out about NCSA and that I'm going back there next year, oh and Caitlin got reaccepted ^^ That is very good.  She wanted me to send her letters over the summer, I sent the first one off today and it's odd because I've never really written a letter before.  Well, I've got fencing practice today, It's the last one before a workshop we have with the head coach from Duke, so it's my last chance to get ready, this week also marks an anniversary for me and fencing, a year ago, this week I started fencing Epee, and last time I was at practice my coaches told me that I am one of the best Epee fencers our club had, and after my performance at sectionals I definatly needed to hear that. (By the way Epee is the longest fencing weapon, where hits can be made anywhere on the body but must be made in a stabbing action with the end of the blade.)  Well, I gotta go do some more chores, blasted vaccuming.